Jan Goss on Teaching Women How to Show Up


May 5th, 2022

25 mins 55 secs

Your Host

About this Episode

May is here and we have another very special guest, who is actually a dear friend of Melinda’s, Jan Goss Jan is the founder of Civility Consulting, which is a consulting agency that focuses on corporate soul development and serves leaders through speaking, training and executive coaching to help create a profitable company culture. She is also the author of “Sex and Money!”, which is about speaking to your partner the way you would speak to your most important client.

Melinda starts off by asking Jan, “What was your big dream growing up, what did you think you would be when you were a little girl?” Jan responds that there were two things that she was torn between, one being a rockstar and the other being a nun.

People are always asking themselves if they are on the right path and thinking about what their life is going to be like, so Melinda really wanted to talk about Jan’s winding paths because she has done so much in her career. Jan says that she was a “late bloomer”, she has created four successful companies after the age of forty, and she is still blooming as she goes along. Jan says she was always fascinated with business, she has loved making money ever since she was a little girl, from sweeping sidewalks to doing any little work. Then, she would go to church and donate everything she had made. Having gone to college when she was young, and then going back later on in life, Jan studied International Business and then went to The Protocol School of Washington D.C. and graduated from there. Jan came back to Austin and had the vision to speak into the lives of professionals and teach them some best business practices. So, she started the Austin School of Protocol which then turned into Civility Consulting in 2012.

So, what draws Jan to work with women? She believes that all success comes from connecting. Whether that be connecting with yourself or a higher power or connecting with others but, she says, all success in life comes from some sort of connection and every connection begins with a first impression. She says the premise of Civility Consulting is that if we can focus on the first five seconds of that introduction then, you will make a really great impression and make a mark. She says “if we can, especially as women, pay attention to how we show up…and show up as who we really are, that's the key.”

Melinda asks if Jan could give three quick tips, what would they be? Jan says one of the skills she learned at The Protocol School of Washington that changed her life was, “act as if you belong.” She says the worst feeling is feeling like you don’t belong and the premise of this protocol is that when you go somewhere in life it is because on some level you were invited so, you can show up as if you belong. Jan says, “It’s an attitude, a thought process, a way we can prepare in advance to walk in and be like, you know what, I belong here”.

Jan has gone through some hardships and traumatic experiences in her personal life, so Melinda asks Jan how she dealt with those experiences and pushed through? Jan says one of the things she will forever be grateful for is the tools she has in her emotional and spiritual toolbox. Since she's been teaching people how to show up for themselves for years, it has now become a part of her. This is when she realized that all these tools and what she has been teaching, actually work. Jan says whether you are going through a divorce, mourning a death, or having financial problems, these tools work and that is what Civility Consulting teaches people. It is not just for professional reasons but also, can help you in your personal life.

Jan’s book, “Sex and Money!” which is about bedroom etiquette, was inspired by her career and how she would often be exposed to these women who would build multimillion-dollar businesses, but then their home life was falling apart. That is when Jan had the idea for her book. She says, “what if you spoke to your significant other the same way you would talk to your most important client?” She then began experimenting with her husband and bringing best practices into her marriage and “beautiful things happened.” That is when she put it into a book. Now moving on to the money part, Jan says that there is so much fear of money, most of her life was spent in financial pain. She says it wasn’t until her fifties, when she was in the middle of a divorce and in desperate need of money, that she had that light bulb moment. Jan went to see an expert for money advice and the woman made Jan write a letter to money. Now Jan uses this in her practices and it “healed her relationship with money.”

To get in touch with Jan, you can go to https://civilityconsulting.com. They have so many exciting events coming up and love to hear everyone’s stories.